I never knew the true meaning of "feeling good" until I had my first dose of heroin. It was something else. It took away all the worries of the world from me. It was like I was in a different universe or something. I knew it in my heart that I was digging my own grave by using heroin to kill my anxiety. But I felt helpless. Eventually, I hit rock bottom. The drugs won and I let demons have my soul.
Breaking the cycle starts with admitting your defeat. And I had already done that. The only thing left to do after that was to get help. And I found the best help in the form of an amazing therapist who pinpointed my negative behaviors. Now, as I am working on breaking the cycle of my addiction, I'm also breaking the cycle of bad habits that lead me to use again.
Sobriety is a long, painful journey. But going back to that deep dark place of addiction is no longer an option for me. I'm always careful now because I know that even the smallest negative thought, or a momentary slip, can throw my hard earned sobriety out the window.